im officially depressed.
i feel like every time i dust myself off and jump back on the right path something is already there to push me away from it. i cant seem to shake it. i get that life is tough. i get that things dont work out to plan. but seriously. havent i already gone through enough of these trials and tough times. im seriously about ready to say fuck it all. at least when i was up to no good not much seemed to ever bother me.
i'm stuck where i am. i hate it. i hate having to stay inside my stupid home and have to see my mom and her boyfriend every day. its frustrating. i dont know how much longer i can take of all the things i have to complain about. i feel that i should be pointing the finger at me. but i did that. and i've been changing my ways. but im still stuck where im at and im honestly beginning to think if its at all worth it.
Why? why? why?
why do i secretly feel guilty when im off getting high. I dont understand God's point. why did you do this dude? why couldn't you just make us all and have everyone live in heaven all happily ever after. why did you have to let us feel down? why cant we just be happy all the time. so there was no need for any sort of self medication.
Im seriously over all this shit. fml.
